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Anyone that knows me well knows that “The Adventures of Alice in Wonderland” is my favorite book. I own three copies plus two other: an annotated version, and a “philosophy of” book. One of my reasons this book is my favorite is because it pulls me out of my desire to control every aspect of my life. Look at poor Alice. The only way that she will survive Wonderland is to adjust her expectations of the rules and the logic. Welcome to life with a toddler. Just when you think you’ve got the rules down, they change. For instance, I woke up about 30 minutes ago (5:30AM) to get in some early morning reading before Aiden wakes up. I’ve done this the past four days. Despite the fact that he sleeps til 7AM on any given morning, he’s been waking up between 5 and 6AM (6AM this morning) for the past 3 mornings. On top of that, he hasn’t been napping. Nightmare. By the end of the day, he looks something like:
Often times, I find that in situations that make me uncomfortable (or irritable), I feel that way because I expected something different. If I could learn to expect the unexpected, maybe I would be onto something. The sense of complete loss of control does not appeal to me though.
Every day, we encounter a Wonderland of our own. The rules are blurred and illogical. They change from day to day, and the expectations placed on the day are rarely met. We struggle to regain control but are left exasperated with no more control than we started with. So, perhaps it’s time to let go of control and realize that in Wonderland, the rules will never be what we think they are or want them to be.
The best part about this inability to predict or control? When this tiny dude randomly looks at me, climbs on me, and says “hug, mama!” (Like, right now.)